Blood runs deep...

Everyone has problems.
So quit with all the whining, Aisyah. I mean there are a million and one people in Afghanistan who are homeless, tons of kids in Africa with no parents and dying of HIV and young women in Aceh being subjected to God knows what...

Yes, yes.

But those closest to me have always had conflicting ideas of the most basic.

Dearest DeLa,

Everyone just wants you to fit in the mould. The mould our parents have designed for us. The mould they perceive their kids should be.

I know it's difficult. Especially with siblings like yours. All-accomplishing. It's rather terrorising, isn't it? To be the bottomline for comparison. To feel a sense of empathy, you turn to people worse off than you.

People who have real problems.

People who's parents have enough problems coping themselves let alone listen to their kids. People who are neglected and uncared for. The empathise better, don't they, these people with REAL problems.

But are all your problems the same?


What is it exactly that makes you think they's understand you better than your own family?

I just blame myself for not being able to explain to you the mould that's been created for us.

Truthfully, you make me question all the presumptions.

I just hope it's not too late before I find the answers and explain them to you.

Please take care of yourself.

Love,
Your anti-thesis at the moment.

Couldn't resist putting this on...

I Hope you Dance

I hope you never lose your
sense of wonder
Get your fill to eat but
always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for
granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty
handed

I hope you still feel small
when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes
I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a
fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or
dance

I hope you
dance...
I hope you
dance...

I hope you'll never fear
those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of
least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake
but its worth making

Don't let some hurting heart leave
you bitter
If you come close to settling out
reconsider
Give the heavens more
than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out
or dance

I hope you dance...(time it's a reel-in constellation)
I hope you dance...(Always going oh so long)
(Tell me do once, as you look back you'll see,you'll wonder where those years have gone...)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance...
I hope you dance...


Heard this song last sem when I was staying in hostel and missing my family one morning. It's a very parental song:)

The Ronan Keating's version is nicer and more heart-felt coz tt's dedicated to his daughter:)

The way things are

I haven't been mugging for the last few days.

OK, OK, stop screaming at me already.

Truthfully, I only have three papers (took 2 non-examinable modules), and one of which is open book.

And yes, I am as worried as you think I should be. Somewhat.


But actually kan, KAN, I just can't get myself to concentrate on my books.

And for once I know why. I need what I study to be applied to my real life. As in, immediately, directly, what I can see before me. Or at least a reason for me to study. Cause if you tell me it's just to get that freaking A, I won't buy it. My brain will just shut down under the pressure and I'll freeze. Ok, maybe I've been spoiling it all the while, but I kinda like the way I've been living my life thus far. Searching, searching for a reason, to learn, to live. I can't live with external pressure. It has to come from within. And coz of tt, I have to make sure tt everything I learn will be applied to real life. Or rather, vice versa. With a greater cause tt I have in mind, the stuff I learn will be put into place. *phew* I'm so glad I finally let the whole world know tt.

Oh, I'm serious abt the research in the prev post. Yani!! Zati!! Dee! Sya, Su, Marlini(if u guys stumble over my blog)Ilda! Maybe we could research more into the stuff tt's in the liquids in the dog and pig and come up with a scientific answer and then can send the report in to MUIS then they can let the whole Muslim community know abt it. hehe. Well, it's a small dream :) So how abt it guys?

Barbie and her little poodle

Morning everyone!!!

Went for a walk ard the neighbourhood this morning. It's always fun to get lost and discover new passages. One day if you bother to come down to tanah merah mrt at 7.30am i'll show you ard(wherever ard means). Anyways, my goal is always to get lost and turn up in front of the pretty pink houses in the centre of the kew estate.

Okay anyhows, while walking came across this middle aged balding guy with his poodle. I mean, the dog barely came up to my calf area, but i kinda slowed my pace and watched the owner carefully, as usual. The owner glared back slightly menancingly, and I evened the stare. For a moment I felt like Rosa Parks, by not giving up the pathway to this man and his dog. (ok lah, a bit extreme, but I mean, waddaheck, it's a free country, why dont you be a gentleman and give way to me??)But I conceeded in the end.

Okay, points being:
1) Why do Muslims have to feel so threatened by the presence of a dog? I mean, all we can't do is to touch their wet areas-ie, the mouth and the genitals. The essence of the dog being an animal that deserves equal treatment as other animals is even more important. Why can't we touch it's fur (provided it's dry of saliva), pet it nicely, even play with it provided tt we clean ourselves up if we ever come into contact with the saliva or gential areas(-which would be unlikely, i mean, eww why would u go touching tt part in the first place?)

The fact is, my fren, tt we've been imbibed with a sense of fear for the animal itself since young. "Jgn dekat anjing, nanti najis"-wasn't tt what ur parents used to say? ok, they had their well-sounded concerns, but at the same time as we grew we tended to treat the dog as an animal tts subservient to reasonable treatment. I mean, imagine a grp of malay girls shrieking and making a big fuss when a tiny chihuahua walks past under the HDB block. What kind of impression does it give the owner, the people around them? That Muslims don't treat dogs very well and respect them as animals.

I think it's really to such an extent tt we need to educate these young kids at madrasahs, the issue of what's our stand towards dogs. As in, how to treat them and how to deal with them, what to do if a dog comes running up to you. (You don't shriek and run away with the dog catchin up fast behind.)I realised while trying to avoid another dog tt was coming near to me tt i didn't know how to approach it nicely. With barking dogs (tt are under restraint) its easy, just go "shhhhhhhht" like a teacher in a classroom, and if tt doesnt work, just go "oh, shuttup lurh". Trust me, they'll understand.
So what I'm suggesting is, an ethics towards dogs class. Esp coz dogs happen to be a favourite pet of other races in Singapore. I mean, this ignorance tt leads to extreme avoidance of the animal can't really be tolerated in a multi-racial society like ours right, esp since it really is an animal tt desrves equal respect as other animals.

2) What exactly is it tt Muslims can't touch (ok, the wet parts, saliva and the genitals) but why? What bacteria persists within these liquids tt are so harmful to us? Capnocytophagia canimorsus- is one bacteria found in the saliva of dogs tt can cause serious health problems (with 25% leading to death) esp if you've lost your spleen(cause ure immunocompromised and weak). Many other types of bacteria are also found in dog(as well as cat) bites.

-Predominantly a-hemolytic strep, staph sp. (which is also found in heart of pigs)
-Aerobic- Corynebact., Pasteurella mult.
-Anaerobic- Bacteroides, peptococcus, Fusobacterium
-Capnocytophagia canimorsus- GNR, splenectomy pts.
(just some names of bacteria ripped off the net, will research if i have the time)

ok, thing is pathogenic and harmful bacteria can be found everywhere and in all organisms. But for some distict reason, the bacteria and other microorganisms found in dogs and pigs as animals are strongly brought up in the Quran to prevent Muslims from being in contact with them. Above are a few, and more research still has yet to be done.

Oh and abt the man, he walked back ard and we exchanged "GOOD MORNINGS!!" hehe. Albeit a bit ultrahyper for so early in the morning. but anyway, all's well.

i love my blog

Usually when i write, it comes out all salient and peaceful. But i guess it comes after hours of pondering. so yeah, the thought process has been carefully extracted out of this posts tt i have here. Anyway, my new mission for blogging would be to tell stories tt i usually cant just tell about anyone. Ironic as it may seem, it would be a little impersonal, distant from my reality as i might see it from my own eyes, but in truth, it couldnt be even more closer to heart. :)

And yes, unlike many other blogs i havent posted a single thing on raya.

Well, raya this year was great! it was better than last year in many aspects. The spiritual aspect as well as the spirit on the day itself. And thanks to my first younger sister, who brought home a kenangan manis tt would last for many rayas to come, and made it extra unique on the day itself. Plus well, everything went as planned. And yes, I had a new tudung style which made it more special. hehe. so yea, inside out covered somewhat. :)

but have to respect my dad's request for privacy and not divulge all our family photos on my blog. somehow he's very opposed to that, no not coz of religion n he believes gurls shudden be on display, nothing like tt. But coz he's just a private person, plus he's scared of people rippin off our faces and pasting them on nude bodies. for some really distant reason. but well, as strange as tt might sound, gotta respect it. anyhows i dont really want people scrutinising every bit of my face online.

ok, gtg back to watching LOSt with ma peeps.

and oh, I wont discuss anything to do with stuff tt im doing my real life concerning people tt im not close to..hehe. so don't think u can rip anything off abt urself here!

You Lost Cause of a nice Memory

Sheila On 7


Dan

Dan...
Bila esok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala dimana kau bisa bercanda
Dan...
Perlahan kaupun, lupakan aku
Mimpi burukmu
Dimana t'lah kutancapkan duri tajam
Kaupun menangis, menangis sedih
Maafkan aku...

Dan...
Bukan maksudku, bukan inginku
Melukaimu sadarkah kau di sini 'kupun terluka
Melupakanmu, menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Lupakanlah/caci maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala


I guess it wont hurt to know the truth. Or maybe it really will, come to think of it.
But whether that's possible is another issue altogether.

Someone once mentioned to me that friends are people who teach you things. And you'll remember them for life cause you carry those precious lessons that they taught so well in the past. And that's why you'll always be remembered as a good friend. For teaching me so much in the short time that I knew you. For letting me know that there are people out there who are good, kind, wholesome and brave to stand out among the anonymous faces that blend into the crowd. Someone who dares to be different cause he feels that it's the right thing to do. Someone who bothers to listen to others. Someone who taught me the true value of sharing. It's not about the latest fad or the coolest gossip, but just what you feel is right, just sharing yourself. I never really thanked you for all that. Maybe the sudden aloofness was too striking a contrast that it just turned me away.

But for all that it's worth, thank you. :)