The Window ShopperRandom'>http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLD&g=2&o=1&h=167#">Random Gentle' g="2&o=" h="167#">Gentle'>http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RGLD&g=2&o=1&h=167#">Gentle

The Window ShopperRandom Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDf)
Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper. You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come. Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns. Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.
BEWARE: The Hornivore
CONSIDER: The Gentleman, The Loverboy

its a fact. i suck when it comes to huge chunks of memorisation. lousy.

Pause.

Have you ever felt like you had everything you needed but never what you wanted? I know the simplest thing to do would be to be thankful and move on with what you have, but I'm reflecting here, not exactly deciding what I'd like to do with my life at this moment in time, so please some breathing space would be really cool.

It's like I've got everything to be thankful for, but not exactly what makes me happy.

But then, that means the basics are in place, and so...

there's nothing exactly to be complaining about right?!

-A peaceful break of unhappiness-

Addicted exhibitionist

THat's It! I'm gettInG mY OWN pictures from noW on!! This is SO mucH fuN! hehe

Close your eyes.

You're now transported to a rolling unflattened world blanketed in white, peppered with slivers of black marking snow melted on black rock. The train you're in barrels on at unparralled speed to any other locomotive sevice in the continent as the fresh air outside whisks by with bits of flakes hit against the window, a temporary assault before melting into obscurity with other snowflakes. Inside you're in the bliss of comfort, snuggled up safe and warm, the aroma of sweet hot tea in the air, biscuits being passed around, the warmth of family.

You watch the surrounding mountainside with a mixture of awe and engagement. Awe at the power of He who created the movement of rock that peaked into mountains that lay beneath a magnificent endless range of pure white. Non-duplicable by mankind, but however providing us with a consistent sense and avenue for scientific enquiry and endeavour. Yet over time we understand we will never be able to even come close to understanding the totality of knowledge embedded within what lies before us.

You rake your eyes over the endless range, white-tipped peaks as far as the eyes can see, trying to take in everything with your naked eye, but you understand that you really can't commit it all to photographic memory. The most you can do is to paint a picture in your minds eye and have confidence that it will last you for a lifetime. You feel small and inconsequential, as you understand that these mountains have been lying here ever since the many peoples that came before you, you feel...time is an adage that is unprecedented and created by the Controller, Who looks into you as a miniscular part of the big picture.

At that point in time, you're overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of power and grace contained within these alps,


the struggle of mankind to conquer what's imaginable to his mind as the train moves slinking its way further up the mountains,



and the possible inconsequentiality of your time on this Earth.

Not meant towards anyone

The potential ways in which an INFP can irritate others include:

1. being idealistic
2. appearing out of touch, perhaps not fully recognising current realities, and disregarding those they find unacceptable (not really.)
3. being stubborn over issues the group did not anticipate being a problem (nah. they see it as a problem alright.)
4. spending too much time thinking
5. avoiding conflict and not giving forthright criticism when it is needed (don't think this is a problem.)
6. focusing so much on interpersonal issues that cost and other impersonal considerations are not adequately discussed

Personal Growth
As with all types, the INFP can achieve personal growth by developing all functions that are not fully developed, through actions such as:
1. being prepared to declare the INFP's personal values
2. investigating and recognising the facts before interpreting what they mean (i do this too fast i think. but according to what i'd want to believe, which is my major problem right now.)
3. listing options and undertaking a formal process of evaluation against criteria, including a cost benefit analysis
4. undertaking a critical appraisal of a situation or person, and expressing disagreement or criticism when it could be of value to the recipient ( i don't think they'll like it dude.)
5. focusing on impersonal details during discussions and when making decisions
listing options and undertaking a formal process of evaluation against criteria, including a cost benefit analysis
6. establishing a long term goal, preparing a detailed implementation plan, and sticking to it (applies to personal life.)

Editted from: http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/mb-types/infp.htm

ok!

OK! after re reading my blog I have decided that I need to work on two things for now! number one! errr long term goal setting and a detailed way to get to it! sticking to it! number two! relationship building! like trusting people for one! erm, building friendships! hic. i'm damn high right now hic!

There's a way to take in criticisms gracefully. Unfortunately, I've got to master that yet. To realise you can do so much better, when viewed from other perspectives. Really shouldn't take it in a "hey! you're stepping on my toes" kinda way.

Had a good chilling time with Fahira and Adila Mohc yesterday, caught Fezhah's play.
Highlights:
1. I'm an INFJ, Fahira's an ENFP and Adila's an INTJ. Thus me and fahira will be of the likes of Matmaha Ghandi while Adila will be a future Librarian. hehe ;)

2. Met Su and Sya after the play.
Me: Hey peeps, this is my cousin, Fahira.
They take one look: "COusin?!"
And i was like...(abit paiseh at the commotion): "second cousin lah"...
HAHA expected...really shouldn't judge a person by the company she keeps nor her outlook man...but i guess its typical first impressions huh...

3. Anyway coming out from the play, I guess you can say you'd never really really understand what someone else is going through, cause you never know the circumstances...It's not only about strength of someone being able to get out of "shit" in life that one goes through, though in most cases it does boil down to that (and this is easily said but not done)..And well, they do realise they're kinda screwed up, its just that basically, it takes a LOT to get out of the mess. And at the end of it all, where does it lead you to go, when everyone of you is doing the same things? What's one's direction after that? Judging someone just doesn't help, the least you could do is understand, or at least try to. SO many issues, pretty deep, though the first one was too sexed up for my liking. hahaha.

I've got to quit my late coming habit man.


Time will allow some things to happen when you feel the time is ripe. Just don't think now's the time, and I wouldn't wanna get myself into a fix. The day will come when I can look at you straight in the eyes and see what I wanna see, as it is within you and what I see reflected back at me.

*smile!*

huphup

okay so I'm here just to cool my mind off things, so bear with me okays. Actually i wanted to blog abt my sibs and just how different we all are which ties in to why i just feel connected to some people even they're unlike me on the outside. thus, good is gradable, so is righteousness, humility, friendliness and freshness of perception. Has been a tiring week even though its only Tuesday. I so need a catch up break. At least going swimming tmr with marls will rock, hopefully.

free enneagram test


free enneagram test

i figured i'm a 5 when i'm pressurised and a 3 when things are good.

bummed the whole day tdy feeling a tad depressed
been postponing going to the docs for a week alr
so being unemployed, sick and lonely does not reside well
thus the need for the song...for everyone who is feeling blue
at any moment in time
whether you're gay, a cross-dresser or anorexic
Chirstina Aguilera and many other people care for you

ok anyway
talking to sha made me feel a tad better
haha nowadays we always end up in a heated discussion
over big things like getting to know her cousin
or whether business is about money or service to others(it's abt both ok!!)
the other day my dad was asking me why i was quarrelling with dee over the phone
i was like "huh?! since when?!" actually he overheard me talking to sha
and it's nothing somehow i realise it's the way we discuss things now
HAHA i love friends who grow with you..

and as i see the beautiful friendships ard me develop i'm thankful that there's just some things that can always be counted on...=)

Pushing on...

Yeowch. Got rejected by IBN. I guess it kinda woke me up and makes things not so easy anymore. If i really wanna take this industry seriously, well, it definitely won't come easy. So what's next? Hrm.

Apart from that, diyanah has been exposing me to her business, and i admit, even though it's really interesting and what i'd like to be exposed to i'm not sure i'd wanna commit wholeheartedly to it. The plans, strategies, culture its all there. But I really wanna commit myself to other things. Such as the industry closer related to my studies as stated above. but i think the admin lady was just falling out of her seat laughing at my grades. oh wells. just have to get over that image in my head for now.

MS meeting just now was alright, though i wish some things had just been mentioned much ealier, and well, let's just say it's an uphill task to rebuild it again..even though we never really saw it fall..over the years. I know some people think i'm crazy to be doing this task and dedicating so much time to something that maybe there's no reaping of benefits. But i suppose for me, it's something close to heart..almost like family. Well, it is like family actually, coz i guess my parents' generation benefitted from it and they way i see them (their whole bunch of frens) today is the way i'd want to see us grow and bring changes to the community at large. I see it as a chance to well, make a difference. And i definitely won't wanna make it small.

And also maybe community work is just me. I just can't work evolving around what I want, but more of what people around me want too. A people pleaser of sorts. And I can see the benefits coming out of it. And i don't find it a waste of time.

Bonding sessions with sibs, tuition and reading while travelling takes up the rest of my time so far this week. yupps.

Sorry PM Lee...

It's not you, it's us Singaporeans. You speak of equality for all, why shouldn't that opportunity be extended to the political arena too? I'm glad ure happy with the 65% though.

it's times like these, I'M PROUD TO BE A SINGAPOREAN!! The votes came out really well. I LOVE ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO VOTED!! YOU'RE ALL DAMN COOL! Just the right amount to give PM Lee a mandate, while giving support to the opposition such that they'll gain confidence from the young for their cause. Juuust right. :)

And so anyway. I kinda split myself up into two today to talk to myself about the issue in my previous post. One emo side and one rationale side. And it's all settled...basically something about not expecting too much out of people, even thought they may really be able to give to you what you want, they may not choose to do so cause of...i don't know. So wells, and i figured i only wanted anything cause i wanted to understand myself better. and so, i don't hate anyone, but i still don't understand, but it's ok, that's why i'm human aren't i?

blissfully holiday'ed already:):)

bitch

im feeling really bitchy right now and exasperated at..im not even sure what. before you try and prescribe something as though you know whats going on, trust me, you don't even have a clue to it cause it has no relation to anything that has happened recently, so give up already.

i just don't understand why some people find it so hard to just be direct and be honest. i mean i figured this one out but i can just tell that you mean another, i think i can read people quite well and the signals that are sent are so mixed up i swear i feel like im out of orbit getting signals from different galaxies of aliens that are confused as to whether they'd wanna be found. im freaking sick, and hurt, and disgusted. but the thing is im not even sure what this culminates to. so you know what? for once in my life, im gonna set it aside and pretend i dont care. but the problem is..its been bugging me for quite some time already.

i dont understand you.

therefore, i shall prefer to hate you.

revelation of an over-exercised mind

Ola Ola~* ok, so my intention for writing this is to get more peooople in to the stuff that I'd be doing these hols. See, two days of bumming is real good, but I can't take it any longer. I need to make this hols as meaningful as they can get. It's gonna be my last uni hols anyways before I hit the job market.

So i made a list in the midst of playing sudokou haha

1. Learn how to cook from my grandma, grandaunts, mom and aunts..especially arab dishes...plus sharing a load in the cooking and cleaning of this place...phasing out the maid already...heh...5 grown up kids leh!

2. science research internship..i hope i do get it, thou the chances of getting it are pretty slim...hrm...but the ideas would be to really define what i wanna do in this field..it's always been a vague idea and i don't think that works with me anymore, need to see sthg more concrete in the near future soon...

3. ok to get fit, great exercise and actually learn something practical i wanna do some form of water sports, aishah suggested wakeboarding which sounds cool, but right now i'm missing canoeing. but i wanna try deep sea diving someday..so probably gonna try that out first. anyone wanna join?:) plus morning jogs in the east, got a partner in junie and dee, but no training schedule planned out yet.

4. some business venture with a new pioneering company, yes, it's something like network marketing and i think network marketing the idea is there seh but its the way the people carry it out that is most important. Money being the most important factor is SUCH a turn off. but i think i wanna use this as just a spring board to bounce off ideas with.

5. MS MSA+ internship + reading circles +*****+ etc etc etc.. last bit before we step down!!

6. reading at least half of the books in the house and borrowing from the library every week

7. catching up with people (yayyayYAY finally time for this)

8. tuition and some other personal stuff to work towards to...

so yup yup!

anyways, i was kinda figuring out the profile of people who actually anonymously did my johari's window and this is what i came up with:
observer is someone who I have known for quite some time but barely talk to (cause otherwise you'd find me mature or idealistic, haha). Probably a guy (cause I don't think I'm shy around girls, duh) and hangs around in big groups, cause I'm much quieter in big groups(introverted). I'm not sure if the self-conscious part comes from reading people really well or from what people tell him, cause most of the other people mentioned it cause I mentioned something to them about insecurities and stuff before, and so it doesn't tally with what i think of this person being a bit distant from me. Emphasizes on the way one socialises.

zombie is probably a girl whom either I've worked with before (which explains independent and organised) and is pretty open (explains matured and reflective) with or reads my blog alot. Definitely someone I've talked to quite a decent amout, of my batch or a senior. Probably got to know me only in recent times, uni days. Emphasizes on the way one thinks, so probably a science student, and judges people fairly, ie doesn't like to gossip around.

Hehe. so do you think that's a fair attempt at reading people well? hiak hiakz.

gash

oh bad bad bad its like 4am and ive been online for like 5 hrs...just random chatting and i actually surfed friendster for once..geez..haha..

tdy was great..woke up late without anything to do then had lunch with diyanah jailani..was just thinking of all my batchmates she's the one that has changed the least. but to say that would be unjustifiable to the change she's been through herself...which she has..a stronger and more determined babe. but she's just been a solid rock since like ages ago when i knew her dependable i guess would be the word to use..and she mentioned abt some unexplicable thing we did in sec 2 hahaha. we went thru the entire class list just commenting on how attractive this person was or like the type of pretty and such. like how brainless right? and i couldnt remember..dammit...what a miss at a potential treasured memory...

on a deeper note sthg kinda resonated in me:
when will i ever treasure the people who really believe they mean something to me...but then again how much will you really know what you mean to someone else?
so many times..

and i saw my pri sch frens meeting up on a frenster pic...like 14 yrs between them...yes azura..in case ure reading this its tt guy shaik was talking abt..hehe..man i just stared at the pic of them blatantly making faces at the camera and was amazed at how ppl can just open up...and get hurt anyways....
so yea theme for the hols!!! to open up and get hurt? heh heh

anyways tmr will be a long day...akkkkkksss but its way past my bedtime!! come to think of it so will the weekend...and the week after...

and to think i came online just to complete my ibn application form...akkkz

bum bum bum

i have realised that...if one doesn't have feelings for someone, nothing in the whole world can force that. unless you're rationale enough to believe your feelings are less important than practicality. which like not many ppl are as noble as that. but i hope this changes as i grow older. i dun wanna be so superficial. haha, oh wdheck.

anyway! it's OVER! OVER OVER! *does the sunshine dance* i just superhope can pass everything. like all i need right now is to just do at least least lllleeeeeeaaaast that. esp for my major mods, which are totally killing me this sem. and last. and the sem before that. urgh...

totally bumming session with marls, yunni, zaty, susu and syasya tdy after ppr! it was hot to bum after SO totally long. like gazillions of light years ago did i bum as much. took a stroll towards esplanade after dinner at siam kitchen...weather was gorgeous-haha su's fav word for everyone!-and unfortunately we had to destroy the atmosphere for all the loving couples there. and there was this bunch of ang mohs that actually STOPPED and stared at us taking photos. but the best part was just...i don't know.... like not worrying about anything. living for the moment and momentarily letting everything pass as it is. i think it's called "relax" by most people. that was fun. haha.

mills of things to do for now. but the first most urgent thang is ...to READ!!!!=)

eeeks!

eeks! 28 hrs to my last paper and 30 hrs to freedom!!

went jogging this morning! more of like strolling and walking down bedok rise, towards dee's block, called her a dozen times(ok, twice) and msged but no amt of bombardment can awaken that gurl if she decides to sleep thru the morning...went under her window (she lives on the 2nd floor so i could have started throwing stones if I wanted to) and stared thru it and the vibes were more towards "leave me alone! I'm not for jogging this morning!" so well...rather lonely walked all the way down the backyards of siglap (I found a new back alley!!) towards bedok jetty and then all the way down to macs coz i was craving for macs breakfast...and unfortunately could only afford a meagre sausage mcmuffin..pathetic breakfast...then as I was jumping happily on the way back I tripped and sprained my ankle!! and scabbed my knee on the other leg. so went home with slightly torn pants and a throbbing ankle.

so that was my morning. i think i need to find a new bedok fren to hooray hooray on mornings in case dee can't make it. or we can all hooray hooray together. problem is, the closest person i can think of is marlini who's nursing an injured knee in pasir ris, or sha...who has a hubby cum exercise parner and yani...who...prefers upper class gymming and doesn't like to run.

SO ANYWAY!

1) Been watching too many reality shows!! American Idol: totally rooting for elliot even thou chris and katherine will be the top two. Elliot's just sooooo honest. hehe. Anugerah skrin: love the format of the show. thou i think it lacks publicity off suria (the official website is like uberbasic), and the contestants should be confident enough at this level to practise on their own tonnes of times and have backup of what to say. but their efforts are commendable i guess, bet if i was up there, i'd be stuttering 3 worded sentences...hope they can show their mettle and improve for the next few episodes thou..

2) I am so in awe and enormously grateful to my kind kind cell bio prof who can simple allow his students to msg him at all times of the day!!! i bet he'd reply a question on GPCR signalling even at 3 am in the morning!! now THAT's what i call a true educator. one who never says no to students who wanna learn more.. meeting him at 330 l8r for some last minute concept revisions that i just can't get...

3) Can't wait for exams to be over!! 27.5 hrs!!!! Then I can finally go to a rally and cheer for the opposition!! haha. ok lah, they still put up a good fight right even thou no novel ideas have come up yet to really take them seriously. I mean "You have a choice"...sure, technically i do. But realistically, an alternative voice should come with alternative novel solutions that are on par with PAP standards that are able to convice the people that that's a better route. So until then, no harm supporting for the underdogs right? =)

4) I need to study!!!! 27.4 hrs!!!!