honesty

As much as i'd like to admit that I've been honestly telling you everything that I would want to in my previous posts, it's come to make me realise that I've been unwittingly self-censoring myself according to whom I feel would get slighted or read too much into my words.

And it's not that I'd not want to express myself clearly, but I guess as of late the whole world would be intertwined in my thoughts and as to avoid abovementioned situation i have resorted to complaning about the most mundane and obvious.

Maybe it's just in my nature to be uptight and polite and non-expressive, especially in negative situations. As much as I'd like to be direct and open and expect others to think i'm trying to just be constructive, you'd have to adjust your level of criticism and tone according to the person whom your talking to. And considering the multiple roles that I've come to realise I play towards different people it's just not me at the moment to express myself in one single way. I mean, I don't think it's hypocritical. I'm still me. But the way i tell things out would differ according to whom i talk to. And I have no idea who reads my blog.

Yes, I try to understand and get everyone to see eye to eye. That's why I usually end up trying to get the person whom I'm talkin to to see the opposing view when I'm actually supposed to be comforting her/him. I tend to take the neutral stand. the one in which everyone wins. some people might take it as a loser way out. the people pleasing way. but ultimately you're not able to move ahead without having the mandate of people around you, without their support and trust.

everything's just a blur right now.