Time now is 1115am on Wed, 19th June. in the office.
I'm so balled up right now i can just blow. this is nothing personal towards anyone, but i need to let this all out.

see, my sister brought home two of her friends on saturday night. that, i don't mind. but the thing is, she brought them home at TWO freaking am in the morning, without any warning whatsoever that she'll even be back late what more letting two other girls in the house, and she wasn't even respectful about it, happily saying HI! brightly to me as though it was the most common thing in the world. I got freaking pissed. I mean, you don't even respect my parents enough to call, to let them know that you're coming home late, secondly and more importantly, that you're bringing friends over, thirdly, that they happen to want to sleep over, and that's not on their own accord, but on YOUR invitation, as though our house is a free come and go girl's shelter, and fourthly, you have the CHEEEK to kick me out of OUR room the following 2 nights after that just because you and your freaking friend wants to use MY bed. like helloe??? hospitality to your friend, yes, but at the expense of your two sisters?? that was OUR bed for heaven's sakes! how do you expect us to graciously welcome your friend when you automatically ASSUME, without even asking nicely or respecting our need for SOME sorta decorum or privacy, that we'd give up our bed to TOTAL strangers? You didn't even introduce your friend, albeit at two am on the first day, or the next day when all three of you woke up at twelve, when half the house were already up and running and out of the house. Aper nie, rumah kau sendiri ker per?

I'm just so freaking pissed at my sister. And this brings up two points:

1. I'm generalising now. Sometimes, I just feel that with so much wealth, our moral boundaries become blurred. we feel like the world owes us something, we feel like we can have anything we'd want at the blink of an eye. Beyond that, we EXPECT a greater sense of respect and importance from others. my point is, just because you're rich, doesn't make you of greater importance that others who have less. And this is where it gets sticky. Simply because that's the way the world works. And i'm feeling real disgusted about it. Just because you're born into a world of wealth, where assumptions are the right, approved by societals norms, it gives you the greater edge than others to be confident of what you believe in, of what you perceive. So the stronger the perception of the perceiver, and the weaker the perception of the one being perceived, the more realistic that perception would become something normal to everyone.

Like the Arabs being rich and exclusive for example. Like please. *rolls eyes* Sometimes I just feel sick by the way some Arabs are SOOO proud of their heritage and place it above others, like some sorta exclusive tribe, with days of glory from yesteryear. Open your eyes and look at the situation now. My dad's half Arab, btw, so like, I'm criticising myself too, ok?

2. I'm confused towards my attitude for this people-the people that my sis brought home. Like, ok, I'm giving up my bed for this girl who doesn't have a decent bed to sleep in back home. She's stressed up with family problems and was at her breaking point already after holding it in for 7 years. So like, my sister has by default made me do a good thing. But like, why do i feel like I've lost some form of sense of self-respect?

Eurgh.

Now that I"ve let that all out, I feel so much better. anyway, came home early yesterday and reclaimed my bed back. The rest of us siblings locked her out of the room instead and destressed ourselves singing our lungs out and shioking sendiri with exaggerated expressions, and of course the usual feet massages. So yes, I had my bed back yesterday. And a good talk with my parents on everything that's pissifying in the house.

Cakaplah aper kau nak, aku dah tak perduli ah org2 berbuih macam kau.

Frankly, I do learn a lot from my sister.

Our fights keep my pondering healthily about my status quo.