Sometimes I'm just bugged by this feeling of constant mediocracy or rather, not feeling up to the standards of some random people around me. The annoyance is targetted at myself, but for simplicity's sake, I tend to take it out on others around me. It's just so much simpler that way. So here goes: I may not appear as smart as you think smartness is portrayed, or wise as the wisest of people should be, of capable, or credible or conscious of what's the best out there, but I still have my basic sense of self-respect. Heck, I do respect and like myself the way I am. So quit making me feel so lousy about myself, alright?

Also, it's kinda hard for trust to flourish if one doesn't even try to listen before judging. Sometimes it's just so easy to judge for fear of the unknown, yeah? It takes great courage to watch, listen wholeheartedly and be perceptive and not judge. And be able to admit you're in the wrong sometimes, that your perceptions may be subjective and wrong in the eyes of others. I guess the least I can do is to not judge you, in judging me.

This is a damn insecure post.

I'm having a free day today, and it just dawned upon me that this is my first free day I'm having in all my timetables, ever. like whee. hurray for free days. Since I've been having horible cramps since morning, spent a lot of it in bed, in between falling asleep over stuff I need to read up for pharmaco and neuro.

Mods taking this sem:
L*SM3211: Fundamental Pharmacology
L*SM3212: Human Physiology-Cardiopulmonary system
L*SM3213: Cell and molecular neurobiology
and two career-oriented modules from my pt of view
Professional Communication for science students and Understanding careers...

It's weird being in the last sem and feeling it not as a bummer sem, like how I expected it to be. Like I don't feel that it's unworthy of doing not so good. I'm taking modules that I like, cause my CAP ain't mattering so much anymore...but then again, I don't think I ever took mods out of wanting to increase my CAP. Apart from last sem. And it's like time is of the essence, and so I don't have like next sem to help me. Plus, I really wanna learn and expand my mind! hehe.

ok on to watching the arena.

Happy Holidays

Hols are gonna be over in the blink of an eye...or rather by the time i turn in tonight. Needless to say, I'd really stretched it this time. Maybe coz subconsciously I know it's like the last time I'd ever be free before hitting the job market :) Run of stuffs:

1. Kelantan trip: only where u can see signs that quote the Quran and Hadith. I'm half torn between calling them propaganda, or social control. But on the other hand, it is like 80% Muslim? Cultural exposure, beautiful beaches, beautiful (covered up) people. painful headaches from sleeping on train rides.

2. Bro's Commissioning Parade. His proudest moment of life. -cue- everybody go *awww*

3. Job searching both for hols and future prospects. Websites, calls, online applications.[Downside: Didn't go for any interviews though. And neither for UROPS.] And I still don't know what's a cover letter.

4. Got cashiering job. Read below post for details.

5. Batam orphanage trip. Reality experienced in a totally different form just a stone's throw away from Sentosa.

6. Caught up with (almost) everyone I've been dying to catch up with, and then some mere acquaintances-turn-friends. :):):) Connection overload! ahaha.


somehow it all doesnt seem very much, but to me I guess each one kinda expanded in a direction that I wanted to take. And at this moment, doing something is better than doing nothing, for me at least. :)


Have a good start to the semester everyone.