It's been a long time overdue for this, but I'd just like to thank a certain group of people who listening to my rants and sharp critiques, for setting an honest and sincere example to follow when I get pissed or moody, for guiding me along the tunnel of darkness with light at the end when I feel bumped out but most of all for accepting me who I actually am and working together towards a common goal. The most teamwork I've ever felt working together with others, where strengths are allowed to shine and weaknesses are complemented by others' strengths.


LOve you ALL. But really, the best way to show appreciation for what you've learnt from others is not through words but to actually practice it in real life and to pass it on...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I FLOSSED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TEN YEARS TODAY!!!!

Yes, that's because I had a huge chunk of metal and cement plastered onto my teeth since primary six. While led to unflossable teeth. woohoo. all the more sparkle now!

so first day of school was good. did some studying. but im not supposed to let anyone know that.

I cried, i really did.

In a world where superficiality rules supreme, relationships are to be rationalised and who people are may just be a figment of my imagination, I made myself believe that there really is someone out there that might understand me. Even though that just might be inclusive of all of the above.

And so i was in a screw the world mood...when i realised that all i've been doing this while is digging my own grave. i'm still finding my niche, and will continue until the day i die, and that's kinda depressing considering i think i've grown a lot in the past year and there was nobody REAL to share it with. cause the memories were kinda the sort i had to go through alone. and then i got upset cause i just fear that i have to go through the rest of my life like this. and that was when i got real depressed. hukhukhuk.
yeah yeah. im fine. just need a bit of downers to get back into the groove. =]

RAHIMAH RAHIM is out! how dumb is that? She's the only one after Matilda who could really sing! i mean, ok, Jon and Hady has the technique and experience that gives them the persona to be a good singer, but in terms of RAW vocal ability, Rahimah beats them hands down!! I honestly think singapore idols doesn't polish up the contestants ability well enough. It's just a lame stunt at making money. I'm ASHAMED at all of you!! eurgh. at least be a decent attempt at showing singapore's best by at least polishing them up! even american idol makes the contestants practice with the greats! this one, just meet, shake hands, talk talk, wish good luck and BYE. where's the honest sincere attempt to IMPROVE their singing capabilities? BLERGH.

On the flipside, think SG is an honest look at teen culture now. The face of Singapore in twenty years...more mixed kids, english speaking malays..hukhuk.., and as usual the most educated are chinese ppl, and a pretty homogeous culture. And the jibe at JA by hossan leong on Rated E is soooo funnnaayyy! He's my fav local comedian of all time.

okay, so AGM is tomms. Honestly, I'm not sad or anything. I feel that I've learnt what I did aling the way, and this isn't the end of the journey for all of us. Over time I realised that it's not about proving what I wanted out of MS could become true (which was pretty selfish of me) but it's a journey that we all have to take to become better Muslims-fighting your own battles, finding your own niche, realising your strengths, compromises with those around you while working together, making and breaking new vows along the way as you stumble along to who you'd wanna be and what you'd wanna achieve, learning new things within every single person you meet, caring about and giving to society-all those ideals that everyone sincerely believes in at any one point in time. And the journey won't end as we handover to the new batch tomorrow. It's what everybody has to go through through the years anyway. But all in all, it was pretty memorable...especially with the people I managed to get to know along the way. =)

*boofdae*
I tend to follow the ALL or NOTHING law in many things that I do. And that applied to my birthday this year too.

I think as you grow older, birthdays become an excuse to meet up with old friends, catch up on more than just a superficial " hey, we should meet up sometime!"...and have time to reflect on yourself and where you'd like to see yourself in the upcoming year. It's nice, and I really should take advantage of it. I'd talk to my parents abt having a gathering next weekend, hopefully, coz this weekend it couldnt happen due to exco incoming exco training. Which I'm looking forward to coz it's the lastest exco project and it's for the next exco! wee*~~*

So today I spent talking to myself and thinking things through. I had a good time, you, so like, it was all gooood.

New resolutions:
to become a better sister, more respectful daughter, more focus in my studies.
and listen to myself more. this one very impt.

Spent time on the phone chatting to bestest frens Dee and Sha. =) Realistic expectations dialectic approaches again.

Dee came over later to pass me my presents. AND MY BROTHER CAME HOME! MY first wish of the day was for my family to spend more time together. so *yay*. Apparently he got home earlier this weekend coz he's got to leave for brunei come National day. =(


Thanks yous:
Sha, Dee, Marls, Tuty, Azura, Filzah, Yani, Mars, Diana, Yana, Norsha, Zati, Azhar, Ridhwan, Nura, Fatma, Khai, Khai & Elly for wishing me happy birthday! =) Filzah and Ridhwan were so funny lah! They were like..."Semoga ditemukan jodoh dengat cepat dan bahagia selalu.." huk huk...Anyway asked the Ustaz LOve as he's better known on these kinda things and what he said hit me...Jodoh and Ajal are all already tersirat in LUh Mahfuz, you can't change these things. It's just a matter of gg for it when the time's right. And even he can't give me a generalised answer to "the right time". it's like to each their own. Interesting eh? haha.

Disclaimer: Not that I'm going for anyone okay. It's just that...sometimes...people just wish too hard or try to hard on these kinda things, you know? Like in The Lake House. You wait, in time, it'll come, all in time.

So in all, my 21st wasnt a noisy one like most, just a private one with close ones. With a lot of personal thoughts to myself. Well, what were you expecting? A foam party??! =)