Sometimes I'm just bugged by this feeling of constant mediocracy or rather, not feeling up to the standards of some random people around me. The annoyance is targetted at myself, but for simplicity's sake, I tend to take it out on others around me. It's just so much simpler that way. So here goes: I may not appear as smart as you think smartness is portrayed, or wise as the wisest of people should be, of capable, or credible or conscious of what's the best out there, but I still have my basic sense of self-respect. Heck, I do respect and like myself the way I am. So quit making me feel so lousy about myself, alright?
Also, it's kinda hard for trust to flourish if one doesn't even try to listen before judging. Sometimes it's just so easy to judge for fear of the unknown, yeah? It takes great courage to watch, listen wholeheartedly and be perceptive and not judge. And be able to admit you're in the wrong sometimes, that your perceptions may be subjective and wrong in the eyes of others. I guess the least I can do is to not judge you, in judging me.
This is a damn insecure post.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I'm having a free day today, and it just dawned upon me that this is my first free day I'm having in all my timetables, ever. like whee. hurray for free days. Since I've been having horible cramps since morning, spent a lot of it in bed, in between falling asleep over stuff I need to read up for pharmaco and neuro.
Mods taking this sem:
L*SM3211: Fundamental Pharmacology
L*SM3212: Human Physiology-Cardiopulmonary system
L*SM3213: Cell and molecular neurobiology
and two career-oriented modules from my pt of view
Professional Communication for science students and Understanding careers...
It's weird being in the last sem and feeling it not as a bummer sem, like how I expected it to be. Like I don't feel that it's unworthy of doing not so good. I'm taking modules that I like, cause my CAP ain't mattering so much anymore...but then again, I don't think I ever took mods out of wanting to increase my CAP. Apart from last sem. And it's like time is of the essence, and so I don't have like next sem to help me. Plus, I really wanna learn and expand my mind! hehe.
ok on to watching the arena.
Mods taking this sem:
L*SM3211: Fundamental Pharmacology
L*SM3212: Human Physiology-Cardiopulmonary system
L*SM3213: Cell and molecular neurobiology
and two career-oriented modules from my pt of view
Professional Communication for science students and Understanding careers...
It's weird being in the last sem and feeling it not as a bummer sem, like how I expected it to be. Like I don't feel that it's unworthy of doing not so good. I'm taking modules that I like, cause my CAP ain't mattering so much anymore...but then again, I don't think I ever took mods out of wanting to increase my CAP. Apart from last sem. And it's like time is of the essence, and so I don't have like next sem to help me. Plus, I really wanna learn and expand my mind! hehe.
ok on to watching the arena.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Happy Holidays
Hols are gonna be over in the blink of an eye...or rather by the time i turn in tonight. Needless to say, I'd really stretched it this time. Maybe coz subconsciously I know it's like the last time I'd ever be free before hitting the job market :) Run of stuffs:
1. Kelantan trip: only where u can see signs that quote the Quran and Hadith. I'm half torn between calling them propaganda, or social control. But on the other hand, it is like 80% Muslim? Cultural exposure, beautiful beaches, beautiful (covered up) people. painful headaches from sleeping on train rides.
2. Bro's Commissioning Parade. His proudest moment of life. -cue- everybody go *awww*
3. Job searching both for hols and future prospects. Websites, calls, online applications.[Downside: Didn't go for any interviews though. And neither for UROPS.] And I still don't know what's a cover letter.
4. Got cashiering job. Read below post for details.
5. Batam orphanage trip. Reality experienced in a totally different form just a stone's throw away from Sentosa.
6. Caught up with (almost) everyone I've been dying to catch up with, and then some mere acquaintances-turn-friends. :):):) Connection overload! ahaha.
somehow it all doesnt seem very much, but to me I guess each one kinda expanded in a direction that I wanted to take. And at this moment, doing something is better than doing nothing, for me at least. :)
Have a good start to the semester everyone.
Hols are gonna be over in the blink of an eye...or rather by the time i turn in tonight. Needless to say, I'd really stretched it this time. Maybe coz subconsciously I know it's like the last time I'd ever be free before hitting the job market :) Run of stuffs:
1. Kelantan trip: only where u can see signs that quote the Quran and Hadith. I'm half torn between calling them propaganda, or social control. But on the other hand, it is like 80% Muslim? Cultural exposure, beautiful beaches, beautiful (covered up) people. painful headaches from sleeping on train rides.
2. Bro's Commissioning Parade. His proudest moment of life. -cue- everybody go *awww*
3. Job searching both for hols and future prospects. Websites, calls, online applications.[Downside: Didn't go for any interviews though. And neither for UROPS.] And I still don't know what's a cover letter.
4. Got cashiering job. Read below post for details.
5. Batam orphanage trip. Reality experienced in a totally different form just a stone's throw away from Sentosa.
6. Caught up with (almost) everyone I've been dying to catch up with, and then some mere acquaintances-turn-friends. :):):) Connection overload! ahaha.
somehow it all doesnt seem very much, but to me I guess each one kinda expanded in a direction that I wanted to take. And at this moment, doing something is better than doing nothing, for me at least. :)
Have a good start to the semester everyone.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
and so my cashiering job ended with a bang. had loads of fun with people that I'd usually not hang out with in my circle of friends. opened up to different perspectives and really, never, never judge someone until you really know that person, which definitely wouldn't be the first or second time you meet. The pakcik whom i thought was a playful flirt sprouting wise religious sermons really taught me that. and I realised he's eyes are nice and gentle too. haaah! surprisingly comforting to know that even in the wierdest places, you can find people to connect with and find common ground to talk about. :)
plus I learnt the darker side of things always have a shining light. that even in the most dark of situations, people still try to look around them and thank them for simple blessings. like the teenaged minah from a broken family who's thankful for her boyfriend who guides and guards her, and feels a lot more previledged than the blind crippled uncle who walks ard aimlessly on some days to spend his time not being alone at home. or the sullen single mother who works only nights and scrapes and saves every penny just to bring up her two boys. she opens up to words of kindness, or when you show interest in her kids. thank you, friends i made during my short stint. you've really taught me a new perspective on life.
and that customers have the "right" to treat you like shit, and they most probably do because they have no other outlet to bully others anyway. it's amazing the amount of time you can actually analyse a person within a simple transaction. it was fun. :)
and talking to filzah and muz was fun. i realise that i don't actually have a real hobby, but i love exploring new wierd situations and perspectives. like getting this cashiering job to feel a different sense of reality. well, that and to earn some cash and i was itching to do something other than stay at home like a cooped up sheltered princess who doesn't know a damn about the real world. who doesn't give a hoot about the persons she sees everyday on the streets, so self-absorbed in her own reality, and feeling sorry for herself. it was nice being a face in the crowd for a change. and i realised i have a certain sense of self-importance about me that i definitely need to change.
and i need like minded frens to continue on this journey, friends who continue to inquire and have a strong desire to learn. not just excel for the sake of excelling, but gaining wisdom, strength and become that much of a better person along the way... :)
plus I learnt the darker side of things always have a shining light. that even in the most dark of situations, people still try to look around them and thank them for simple blessings. like the teenaged minah from a broken family who's thankful for her boyfriend who guides and guards her, and feels a lot more previledged than the blind crippled uncle who walks ard aimlessly on some days to spend his time not being alone at home. or the sullen single mother who works only nights and scrapes and saves every penny just to bring up her two boys. she opens up to words of kindness, or when you show interest in her kids. thank you, friends i made during my short stint. you've really taught me a new perspective on life.
and that customers have the "right" to treat you like shit, and they most probably do because they have no other outlet to bully others anyway. it's amazing the amount of time you can actually analyse a person within a simple transaction. it was fun. :)
and talking to filzah and muz was fun. i realise that i don't actually have a real hobby, but i love exploring new wierd situations and perspectives. like getting this cashiering job to feel a different sense of reality. well, that and to earn some cash and i was itching to do something other than stay at home like a cooped up sheltered princess who doesn't know a damn about the real world. who doesn't give a hoot about the persons she sees everyday on the streets, so self-absorbed in her own reality, and feeling sorry for herself. it was nice being a face in the crowd for a change. and i realised i have a certain sense of self-importance about me that i definitely need to change.
and i need like minded frens to continue on this journey, friends who continue to inquire and have a strong desire to learn. not just excel for the sake of excelling, but gaining wisdom, strength and become that much of a better person along the way... :)
Saturday, November 25, 2006
i think i shall take a hiatus from blogging cause i don't seem to be giving very meaningful posts, as in you know, posts that actually give a lot of introspection or other. i think im mostly giving out mental diarrhoea instead. haha.
i think over the past week i've just learnt the true meaning of learning. it's about pushing your mental limits and questioning your understanding of the world. while approaching it from your own little shoes. ok lemme share it with you anyway, even though you didnt ask. let's say since i'm taking life sciences right, so i learn about the way the world works, or at least what goes into God's making of a living organism. and there's just so much to begin with, the defense mechanisms, the biochemistry that goes on, the development from a one celled organism to a fetus, there's so much we have to actually remember, [all of which is compressed into the facade of one module we have to take to graduate] while actually He's just simply made them all just like that. It's pretty amazing, and overwhelming when you think about it. and while learning all these things its easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer amt of memory work we have to do. but true teachers would tell us that its about constructing knowledge and not merely regurgitating it. this, as many many ideals that we have been exposed to is yet an ideal, and therefore it's hard to do. muaha.
anyway yesterday Tuty kinda made my day by giving some of us with free tix to go watch puteri gunung ledang! apparently her neighbour works for a company that sponsored the show. it was pretty impressive. haha. the ambition was there, and i totally salute tiara jaquelina. and it was the first time being so groupie-like trying to take a photo of the lead casts after the show. the only pics id have to show you would be of people in front of me trying to get pics. haha.
i think over the past week i've just learnt the true meaning of learning. it's about pushing your mental limits and questioning your understanding of the world. while approaching it from your own little shoes. ok lemme share it with you anyway, even though you didnt ask. let's say since i'm taking life sciences right, so i learn about the way the world works, or at least what goes into God's making of a living organism. and there's just so much to begin with, the defense mechanisms, the biochemistry that goes on, the development from a one celled organism to a fetus, there's so much we have to actually remember, [all of which is compressed into the facade of one module we have to take to graduate] while actually He's just simply made them all just like that. It's pretty amazing, and overwhelming when you think about it. and while learning all these things its easy to get overwhelmed by the sheer amt of memory work we have to do. but true teachers would tell us that its about constructing knowledge and not merely regurgitating it. this, as many many ideals that we have been exposed to is yet an ideal, and therefore it's hard to do. muaha.
anyway yesterday Tuty kinda made my day by giving some of us with free tix to go watch puteri gunung ledang! apparently her neighbour works for a company that sponsored the show. it was pretty impressive. haha. the ambition was there, and i totally salute tiara jaquelina. and it was the first time being so groupie-like trying to take a photo of the lead casts after the show. the only pics id have to show you would be of people in front of me trying to get pics. haha.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
*chin up gurl!*
good evening peeps. and so today i have the news of telling that despite the fact that i have so many burning views within me that are just dying to blow, i shall be civil and put them into words, and i shall not decide to write in my diary simply coz it'll be over-repetitive and cause i tend to write heartfelt stuff in my diary and here id just like to record more of an overview of my life, and its also for my frens to know about, some of whom i really miss, and i won't get to see in another two weeks cause of the dratty exams.
and so, first up, the issue of exams. i feel its pretty well paced up if i continue being consistent this coming week. given the fact that i went to school on a freaking sunday while my other frens were out raya-ing cause i was worried that i couldn't finish revision, i kinda burned my monday instead cause i was so dead tired. but i will persevere. PERSEVERE!
and then there's the heart issue. dee's been giving me a lot of useful advice on this, such that i can get over whoeveritmaybe soon instead of next year [according to my presumptions, i take quite a number of n years to get over a guy. where n=a specificed number larger than 0] and so the rationale is: i tend to like people that i look up to and i want to exemplify. like there's characteristics in him that i really admire and i'd like to have in myself. and so the idea now is to just roughly analyse what issit exactly that i like about him and try to emulate it. he'll seem less charming then. hopefully.
and then there's the issue of screaming at my siblings, but then, i think it's just exam stress.
ok, that should be all for now. apart from a few buzzing issues that are around my toes, i'm pretty settled. on to mugging! for Him and His pleasure alone.
good evening peeps. and so today i have the news of telling that despite the fact that i have so many burning views within me that are just dying to blow, i shall be civil and put them into words, and i shall not decide to write in my diary simply coz it'll be over-repetitive and cause i tend to write heartfelt stuff in my diary and here id just like to record more of an overview of my life, and its also for my frens to know about, some of whom i really miss, and i won't get to see in another two weeks cause of the dratty exams.
and so, first up, the issue of exams. i feel its pretty well paced up if i continue being consistent this coming week. given the fact that i went to school on a freaking sunday while my other frens were out raya-ing cause i was worried that i couldn't finish revision, i kinda burned my monday instead cause i was so dead tired. but i will persevere. PERSEVERE!
and then there's the heart issue. dee's been giving me a lot of useful advice on this, such that i can get over whoeveritmaybe soon instead of next year [according to my presumptions, i take quite a number of n years to get over a guy. where n=a specificed number larger than 0] and so the rationale is: i tend to like people that i look up to and i want to exemplify. like there's characteristics in him that i really admire and i'd like to have in myself. and so the idea now is to just roughly analyse what issit exactly that i like about him and try to emulate it. he'll seem less charming then. hopefully.
and then there's the issue of screaming at my siblings, but then, i think it's just exam stress.
ok, that should be all for now. apart from a few buzzing issues that are around my toes, i'm pretty settled. on to mugging! for Him and His pleasure alone.
Friday, November 17, 2006
*I just had to post this up*
For the sake of pure memorabilia, sharing, and short destressor btw immuno revision and biotech report, i have this! :) raya photos...haha...but as you will see later, it's more like blooper raya photos..haha. geez.
on the morning of Syawal, the five of us Mustapha kids sat in Nenek's house (mom's side) playing with our cousins who are unfortunately on purpose not in the photo. We were the first to arrive! (well at least before the others came into the picture. or rather, not. haha.)

from left to right: me, muhd luqman, siti adilah, siti afiyah, muhd imran. (yes, we have such common but beautiful names. =))
and then there was some...
imran is SO trying to act cool.
anyway check this out:

circled according to families. Just 3 of the 10 families under the Othman clan. hehe!
and this one was when no one was looking:

this was at tok umi's (dad's mom's place):

and at tok ala's (dad's aunt's) with fahira!:

and then there were some ex MS exco outing photos. note: this was not meant to be exclusive. upon stepping down, we were just a bunch of frens wanting to replenish the ukhwah we've had forged over the past year. the ending was so memorable with everyone asking for forgiveness from each other. kak aishah: was it like this last year? me:nope. cause i think over the past year we accumulated a lot of dosa towards each other lah. haha! =P
so over at my place:

since there were so many cameras, we took funky shots with each. so mine was the "so scared crazy coz i just saw a ghost" look. of course kak aishah looked calm cause she's not afraid of such things. hehe;)(at kak aishah's place!)...

all the gurls look over here!


yasmin can still afford to smile while on the phone...

me and filzah chilling at the back of the bus!
me and gorgeous anah and a totally extra, uncalled for and insignificant orb in the bottom left corner of the photo...

me and tuty. i love it whenever we take photo and try so hard to smile alike. haha.

me and babe-licious yana


me and nini!
and lastly, a very inspirational lady, kak aishah:)

It was a hard choice between gg for either MS or RG jalan raya, but I decided to go with the former coz it was planned much earlier...felt quite bad that the gurls couldn't come over at night thou. :( it's not like there's not next year, insyaALLAH. :)
For the sake of pure memorabilia, sharing, and short destressor btw immuno revision and biotech report, i have this! :) raya photos...haha...but as you will see later, it's more like blooper raya photos..haha. geez.
on the morning of Syawal, the five of us Mustapha kids sat in Nenek's house (mom's side) playing with our cousins who are unfortunately on purpose not in the photo. We were the first to arrive! (well at least before the others came into the picture. or rather, not. haha.)
from left to right: me, muhd luqman, siti adilah, siti afiyah, muhd imran. (yes, we have such common but beautiful names. =))
and then there was some...
anyway check this out:
circled according to families. Just 3 of the 10 families under the Othman clan. hehe!
and this one was when no one was looking:
this was at tok umi's (dad's mom's place):
and at tok ala's (dad's aunt's) with fahira!:
and then there were some ex MS exco outing photos. note: this was not meant to be exclusive. upon stepping down, we were just a bunch of frens wanting to replenish the ukhwah we've had forged over the past year. the ending was so memorable with everyone asking for forgiveness from each other. kak aishah: was it like this last year? me:nope. cause i think over the past year we accumulated a lot of dosa towards each other lah. haha! =P
so over at my place:
since there were so many cameras, we took funky shots with each. so mine was the "so scared crazy coz i just saw a ghost" look. of course kak aishah looked calm cause she's not afraid of such things. hehe;)(at kak aishah's place!)...
all the gurls look over here!
yasmin can still afford to smile while on the phone...
me and filzah chilling at the back of the bus!
me and gorgeous anah and a totally extra, uncalled for and insignificant orb in the bottom left corner of the photo...
me and tuty. i love it whenever we take photo and try so hard to smile alike. haha.
me and babe-licious yana
me and nini!
and lastly, a very inspirational lady, kak aishah:)
It was a hard choice between gg for either MS or RG jalan raya, but I decided to go with the former coz it was planned much earlier...felt quite bad that the gurls couldn't come over at night thou. :( it's not like there's not next year, insyaALLAH. :)
Sunday, November 05, 2006
my lab report!
ok since we're on the topic of sharing painful moments, I was thinking of explaining my latest lab report so that I can understand it better anyways. I'm kinda stuck, so explaining it out in layman terms would make me understand better. and it can teach you something too!
Alright, so basically the experiment involves us being provided with a gene of interest, and via in situ hybridisation (which I will explain later) we will create RNA probes that will be localised within particular organelles or tissues within the zebrafish embryo that contains the gene of interest.
You start off with being given a simple RNA sequence made up of only 4 nucleotides (AUCG) which runs off to about 200+ bases, which you can run off at the NCBI website.
I guess you could try inserting as many sequences made up of just A-C-U-G and they can link you up to a particular gene. use blastn. It's pretty cool.
ok back to in situ hybridisation. This involves a circular DNA plasmid that's just uh, circular, that contains the gene of interest. By linearising it and cutting it out using restriction enzymes, you can create complementary mRNA sequences. [For those with no bio backgrd, DNA is basically a whole recipe book -made up of only 4 bases A-T-C-G that codes for proteins all around your body. The mRNA is like specific recipes that are only taken out at particular events ie, if the cell needs it. The final dish would be the protein that the mRNA codes for, that makes up your skin, hair, signalling molecules, among all other proteins in your body.]These mRNA sequences are then mixed into a test tube containing zebrafish embryos in the hope that it will hybridise (stick to) the genes that it complements. The gene would only be found in organs that produces it and thus would highlight (using a coloured marker stuck to the mRNA) the organ. The final product would look something like this:

this is the right view of the embryo, highlighted using an mRNA that hybridises the keratin-8 gene which codes for skin proteins...

and this is a close up of the dorsal side of the embryo, where we can clearly see the muscle that has been highlighted by the myosin light chain 2.
And so being given the probe sequence, we're able to find out more about the gene and what it really codes for as found in scientific literature. And being given the pictures, we can deduce the morphological characteristics that it codes for specifically in this experiment (which took a total of 5 days! open lab prac, meaning we can go in anytime we're free to complete the experiment.)
And so now, knowing those two, the question is, so what? We're supposed to find out how much has been found in scientific literature about the development of the two genes, and infer our discovery from what has already been found. Either that or go back in time and pretend that we've found a novel discovery. Either way, we're required to write a ground break research paper in that format. So well, a lot of readings I have to do.
So, didn't understanding that make u feel a lot smarter? :)
ok since we're on the topic of sharing painful moments, I was thinking of explaining my latest lab report so that I can understand it better anyways. I'm kinda stuck, so explaining it out in layman terms would make me understand better. and it can teach you something too!
Alright, so basically the experiment involves us being provided with a gene of interest, and via in situ hybridisation (which I will explain later) we will create RNA probes that will be localised within particular organelles or tissues within the zebrafish embryo that contains the gene of interest.
You start off with being given a simple RNA sequence made up of only 4 nucleotides (AUCG) which runs off to about 200+ bases, which you can run off at the NCBI website.
I guess you could try inserting as many sequences made up of just A-C-U-G and they can link you up to a particular gene. use blastn. It's pretty cool.
ok back to in situ hybridisation. This involves a circular DNA plasmid that's just uh, circular, that contains the gene of interest. By linearising it and cutting it out using restriction enzymes, you can create complementary mRNA sequences. [For those with no bio backgrd, DNA is basically a whole recipe book -made up of only 4 bases A-T-C-G that codes for proteins all around your body. The mRNA is like specific recipes that are only taken out at particular events ie, if the cell needs it. The final dish would be the protein that the mRNA codes for, that makes up your skin, hair, signalling molecules, among all other proteins in your body.]These mRNA sequences are then mixed into a test tube containing zebrafish embryos in the hope that it will hybridise (stick to) the genes that it complements. The gene would only be found in organs that produces it and thus would highlight (using a coloured marker stuck to the mRNA) the organ. The final product would look something like this:
this is the right view of the embryo, highlighted using an mRNA that hybridises the keratin-8 gene which codes for skin proteins...
and this is a close up of the dorsal side of the embryo, where we can clearly see the muscle that has been highlighted by the myosin light chain 2.
And so being given the probe sequence, we're able to find out more about the gene and what it really codes for as found in scientific literature. And being given the pictures, we can deduce the morphological characteristics that it codes for specifically in this experiment (which took a total of 5 days! open lab prac, meaning we can go in anytime we're free to complete the experiment.)
And so now, knowing those two, the question is, so what? We're supposed to find out how much has been found in scientific literature about the development of the two genes, and infer our discovery from what has already been found. Either that or go back in time and pretend that we've found a novel discovery. Either way, we're required to write a ground break research paper in that format. So well, a lot of readings I have to do.
So, didn't understanding that make u feel a lot smarter? :)
emotional carcass
everytime i come back only to blog i just face a blank screen, without wanting to remove the bad things inside me that are dying to come out. I'm confused, on one hand it's not advisable for us to let other people know about the bad things happening in our lives, and we're suposed to face these things with a stronger heart. but i don't believe in facades. I suppose the best is to kinda make it a sharing session, where you're not really complaining, but you're trying to figure things out. As this is gonna be sorta a solemn post, if you're not ready to read it, fine, but don't tell me you left, otherwise i'd think you don't care, which you might not in the first place, here to just get some gossip or scorn at the lives of others you think are worse off than you are, and then I wouln't care less about a person whom I can't call a friend in the first place. -haha, ok whatever lah, i'm just in that kinda mood. you can leave if you want. ok moving on!-
i think it's the time of the sem where everyone is pushing themselves to the limits cause it's just the last stretch until the end of the semester. I'm not complaining.
okay, I'd get to the point. See, ever since I as far back as I remember, I keep getting these bouts of depression. Of course, in contrast to that, I can feel extremely happy and contented with life at times. You may think it's normal, and maybe it is, but what bothers me is that my depression severely affects me, it paralyses me to the point that I can never do anything when I'm in that state. And you know what's the worst part? I'm usually depressed over things that I could not control. About a racist comment I overheard, about guys not going to friday prayers at the mosque when there's absolutely no reason for them not to go, I was even depressed once about a song written for American Idol2. It was during start of the Iraq war, and the producers wrote the song "I'm proud to be an American" for the finalists to sing. I found the song positively twisted. Here you are trying to get innocuous American citizens to run the political agenda, and they're all so positively sure that what they're doing is for the best of others living 476000 million miles away. It made me sick.
I finally figured it out sometime recently. I've always had this perfect worldview that I've stuck to for thus long. Just ask any of my close friends, they'll think I'm cuckoo when I turn all philosophical, but of course the true ones view it as a strength of mine :) And it bothers me when this world view is not enforced in society/real life/print telling me the news/etc.
And recently, I don't even think about this world view anymore. I'm just letting live and let live. And somehow I feel like I've lost part of me, being so unbelievably rationale and non-idealistic.
So that's my challenge. How to balance this one out..I think the best way is to have your own personal views which you don't try to impose on others but work through in your dealings with people, and in going about the dealings in life. And if I really can't afford to be idealistic and have to face the facts, then it's time to compromise, maybe I can still do the things I wanna do, but maybe just not the way I'd imagined it to be. The idea is to change, while still sticking to your essential self.
The important thing is to strive and push myself until the very limits or the end, which ever comes first.
Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.
For lose not heart, nor fall into despair, for ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith.
*phew* thank you for sitting through the pep talk I wanted to give myself.
now for an inspirational song!
everytime i come back only to blog i just face a blank screen, without wanting to remove the bad things inside me that are dying to come out. I'm confused, on one hand it's not advisable for us to let other people know about the bad things happening in our lives, and we're suposed to face these things with a stronger heart. but i don't believe in facades. I suppose the best is to kinda make it a sharing session, where you're not really complaining, but you're trying to figure things out. As this is gonna be sorta a solemn post, if you're not ready to read it, fine, but don't tell me you left, otherwise i'd think you don't care, which you might not in the first place, here to just get some gossip or scorn at the lives of others you think are worse off than you are, and then I wouln't care less about a person whom I can't call a friend in the first place. -haha, ok whatever lah, i'm just in that kinda mood. you can leave if you want. ok moving on!-
i think it's the time of the sem where everyone is pushing themselves to the limits cause it's just the last stretch until the end of the semester. I'm not complaining.
okay, I'd get to the point. See, ever since I as far back as I remember, I keep getting these bouts of depression. Of course, in contrast to that, I can feel extremely happy and contented with life at times. You may think it's normal, and maybe it is, but what bothers me is that my depression severely affects me, it paralyses me to the point that I can never do anything when I'm in that state. And you know what's the worst part? I'm usually depressed over things that I could not control. About a racist comment I overheard, about guys not going to friday prayers at the mosque when there's absolutely no reason for them not to go, I was even depressed once about a song written for American Idol2. It was during start of the Iraq war, and the producers wrote the song "I'm proud to be an American" for the finalists to sing. I found the song positively twisted. Here you are trying to get innocuous American citizens to run the political agenda, and they're all so positively sure that what they're doing is for the best of others living 476000 million miles away. It made me sick.
I finally figured it out sometime recently. I've always had this perfect worldview that I've stuck to for thus long. Just ask any of my close friends, they'll think I'm cuckoo when I turn all philosophical, but of course the true ones view it as a strength of mine :) And it bothers me when this world view is not enforced in society/real life/print telling me the news/etc.
And recently, I don't even think about this world view anymore. I'm just letting live and let live. And somehow I feel like I've lost part of me, being so unbelievably rationale and non-idealistic.
So that's my challenge. How to balance this one out..I think the best way is to have your own personal views which you don't try to impose on others but work through in your dealings with people, and in going about the dealings in life. And if I really can't afford to be idealistic and have to face the facts, then it's time to compromise, maybe I can still do the things I wanna do, but maybe just not the way I'd imagined it to be. The idea is to change, while still sticking to your essential self.
The important thing is to strive and push myself until the very limits or the end, which ever comes first.
Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.
For lose not heart, nor fall into despair, for ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith.
*phew* thank you for sitting through the pep talk I wanted to give myself.
now for an inspirational song!
Monday, October 30, 2006
This day could only get worse if
1) I blew up my leg or half my body in an uncleared landmine
2) The roof over my head collapsed on my bed and remained that way for a week
3) There is a shortage of water supply and I have to go unbathed for a month ie. until the end of November
4) Nobody ever talks to me ever again and I lose all my friends because I've turned into a totally revolting low life no personality homo sapien
5) I realise in the future that I'll never ever get married (editted: actually eh, this won't be that bad)
Gee. I guess the day COULD get a lot worse.
1) I blew up my leg or half my body in an uncleared landmine
2) The roof over my head collapsed on my bed and remained that way for a week
3) There is a shortage of water supply and I have to go unbathed for a month ie. until the end of November
4) Nobody ever talks to me ever again and I lose all my friends because I've turned into a totally revolting low life no personality homo sapien
5) I realise in the future that I'll never ever get married (editted: actually eh, this won't be that bad)
Gee. I guess the day COULD get a lot worse.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Of Raya, Reality and Rendering myself Useful
I think I speak too early. But more about that later.
Hari Raya was a totally HOT affair this year. Coupled with the fact that it came in the point in time where CAs and assignments were wayy off, it was a relaxing affair. Shiok.
Best part (1) :
Before we left for Nenek's, my mom cooked lontong for the neighbours. 1 door to the right and 3 doors to the left. The reality is that we don't usually even talk much before this. But upon receiving the delicious gifts in the morning they responded with $40 worth of hongbaos(!!!) and a huge hamper of chocolate/choc-coated cookies and the likes. Now it feels so much easier to communicate off-hand. Racial harmony's in the air people!
Best part (2) :
Had a heart to heart with my aunt who's totally HOT. (note: not in the conventional sense, but in the sense that you know some people that you can just click with without trying too hard?) So yea she kinda gave me good advice that i'd need in the near future. Like whether I should send my kids to madrasahs, since all her 3 girls are in madrasah, she's got 7 kids btw. (haha, kidding. that's for my Islam essay-I'm doing on the madrasah system as a reflection of Malays attitude towards knowledge. So like since it's due after rayer, I wanted to interview my relatives and use them as subjects/specimens. haaa.>_<) Everyone needs a mentor every now and then, don't you agree?
Best part (3) : We took mass pictures at my Nenek's. It's so amazing to see how each family has progressed and grown since that all started. My sister was watching the scene of adults, kids and the old couple in the middle waiting patiently for everyone to arrange themselves around them and commented," I think we can all move to a totally isolated part of Malaysia and start a new kampung there." hukhukhuk!! For the record, my nenek and atuk are currently the proud grandparents of 40 young souls and counting...
The rest of the day was spent covering my dad's side with his brothers as the mass movement of people from one house to another just makes it so much cooler, and there's fewer ppl to visit. My mom's side would take the rest of the Syawal month. haaaa.
And so, with the depressing mark of my latest science test (immuno) I've realised that I can't be vague about my answers anymore. It's either I know or I don't know. And reality is right now I don't know much. It felt strange to share with someone the real reasons why I decided to take this course, however much they've been changing through the years since year one, I just find more and more reasons to stay on this track. But it felt just wrong to know at the same time I'm not doing justice by actually putting in my all. Like you know, just berbualling werld. I know I'm capable of more if I just put myself into it.
"There's a light at the far end of this tunnel..." -Breathe, Anna Nalick
And doing housework can be totally tiring, but fun! I almost don't want my maid to come backkk.
I think I speak too early. But more about that later.
Hari Raya was a totally HOT affair this year. Coupled with the fact that it came in the point in time where CAs and assignments were wayy off, it was a relaxing affair. Shiok.
Best part (1) :
Before we left for Nenek's, my mom cooked lontong for the neighbours. 1 door to the right and 3 doors to the left. The reality is that we don't usually even talk much before this. But upon receiving the delicious gifts in the morning they responded with $40 worth of hongbaos(!!!) and a huge hamper of chocolate/choc-coated cookies and the likes. Now it feels so much easier to communicate off-hand. Racial harmony's in the air people!
Best part (2) :
Had a heart to heart with my aunt who's totally HOT. (note: not in the conventional sense, but in the sense that you know some people that you can just click with without trying too hard?) So yea she kinda gave me good advice that i'd need in the near future. Like whether I should send my kids to madrasahs, since all her 3 girls are in madrasah, she's got 7 kids btw. (haha, kidding. that's for my Islam essay-I'm doing on the madrasah system as a reflection of Malays attitude towards knowledge. So like since it's due after rayer, I wanted to interview my relatives and use them as subjects/specimens. haaa.>_<) Everyone needs a mentor every now and then, don't you agree?
Best part (3) : We took mass pictures at my Nenek's. It's so amazing to see how each family has progressed and grown since that all started. My sister was watching the scene of adults, kids and the old couple in the middle waiting patiently for everyone to arrange themselves around them and commented," I think we can all move to a totally isolated part of Malaysia and start a new kampung there." hukhukhuk!! For the record, my nenek and atuk are currently the proud grandparents of 40 young souls and counting...
The rest of the day was spent covering my dad's side with his brothers as the mass movement of people from one house to another just makes it so much cooler, and there's fewer ppl to visit. My mom's side would take the rest of the Syawal month. haaaa.
And so, with the depressing mark of my latest science test (immuno) I've realised that I can't be vague about my answers anymore. It's either I know or I don't know. And reality is right now I don't know much. It felt strange to share with someone the real reasons why I decided to take this course, however much they've been changing through the years since year one, I just find more and more reasons to stay on this track. But it felt just wrong to know at the same time I'm not doing justice by actually putting in my all. Like you know, just berbualling werld. I know I'm capable of more if I just put myself into it.
"There's a light at the far end of this tunnel..." -Breathe, Anna Nalick
And doing housework can be totally tiring, but fun! I almost don't want my maid to come backkk.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Updates
So far this sem's CA results been pretty decent, not exactly up there in the yani and zati stratosphere (haha:P) but alright. Much better than previous semesters anyways. SO yeap, I'm glad.
Lately things have been pretty crazy around the house cause my maid's enjoying her hari raya in indon for the year! that leaves the household pretty much having to do the cooking, washing and cleaning for the next few weeks. which is pretty much what we should be doing given that there are 5 adult kids in the house. ok lah, only me above 21. the rest 19, 15, 13, 10 but we should be independent already to do everything at our own accord. the thing is we've been so accomodated to a maid since young that we find other things to do with our free time. (ok, excuses, i know).
but anyway, the division of labour(just for today) goes like this (includes hari raya prep): me-washing clothes. my 13 yr old sis and 10 yr old bro-painting my mom's room. my 19 yr old bro-painting the walls behind the house. my 15 yr old sis-sweeping the house. mom-clearing out the excess leaves in the garden. dad-repairing computers.
and i kinda volunteered to cook for the next 3 weeks. stop laughing people.
anybody who has any special recipes pls kindly reccommend to me if you don't mind.
So far this sem's CA results been pretty decent, not exactly up there in the yani and zati stratosphere (haha:P) but alright. Much better than previous semesters anyways. SO yeap, I'm glad.
Lately things have been pretty crazy around the house cause my maid's enjoying her hari raya in indon for the year! that leaves the household pretty much having to do the cooking, washing and cleaning for the next few weeks. which is pretty much what we should be doing given that there are 5 adult kids in the house. ok lah, only me above 21. the rest 19, 15, 13, 10 but we should be independent already to do everything at our own accord. the thing is we've been so accomodated to a maid since young that we find other things to do with our free time. (ok, excuses, i know).
but anyway, the division of labour(just for today) goes like this (includes hari raya prep): me-washing clothes. my 13 yr old sis and 10 yr old bro-painting my mom's room. my 19 yr old bro-painting the walls behind the house. my 15 yr old sis-sweeping the house. mom-clearing out the excess leaves in the garden. dad-repairing computers.
and i kinda volunteered to cook for the next 3 weeks. stop laughing people.
anybody who has any special recipes pls kindly reccommend to me if you don't mind.
Monday, October 16, 2006
hi. this is gonna be a very immature post. don't say i didn't give u warning first ok. (hehs. especially after reading elly's post on maturity) but i decided to write this even before i read that so anyway.
i am getting sick just thinking about the amount of work that i have to do. my classical complement system has finally kicked in cause finally my running nose/sniffles/horrible cough cough is gone! heh. apparently it won't be efficient enough to get rid of my psychological immune breakdown towards work. bummer. =(
ok the next time somebody calls me baik, i will personally remove all the air from the person's lungs, perform a slow and totally sin-inducing slaughter across the semi-permeable tymus gland at the bottom of the throat. basically that means i will literally kill you. i absolutely abhorrr that word ok. lemme give u three basic reasons why.
1. how in the world would you know something like that!
2. jadi kau macam aksyen terrer gitu ah jahat sangat! (so basically you're saying you're so much cooler than me by being bad?)
3. it makes me seem so one dimensional. you know? like boring. (but whether that's true is another matter altogether la) but if that's true then why don't you just say it instead of using politically correct words such as baik??
and everytime i pass them, i get a reminder of a blast of memories from the past that i'm not particularly proud of. it's not exactly something that people would be bothered with, so i'm not exactly sure whyy it bothers me, but it does, it does. *pouts*
ok i'm done here. have a wonderful week ahead all you wonderful people. i hope that doesn't sound too sarcastic cause it's not meant to be ok! ok i'm done here bye.
i am getting sick just thinking about the amount of work that i have to do. my classical complement system has finally kicked in cause finally my running nose/sniffles/horrible cough cough is gone! heh. apparently it won't be efficient enough to get rid of my psychological immune breakdown towards work. bummer. =(
ok the next time somebody calls me baik, i will personally remove all the air from the person's lungs, perform a slow and totally sin-inducing slaughter across the semi-permeable tymus gland at the bottom of the throat. basically that means i will literally kill you. i absolutely abhorrr that word ok. lemme give u three basic reasons why.
1. how in the world would you know something like that!
2. jadi kau macam aksyen terrer gitu ah jahat sangat! (so basically you're saying you're so much cooler than me by being bad?)
3. it makes me seem so one dimensional. you know? like boring. (but whether that's true is another matter altogether la) but if that's true then why don't you just say it instead of using politically correct words such as baik??
and everytime i pass them, i get a reminder of a blast of memories from the past that i'm not particularly proud of. it's not exactly something that people would be bothered with, so i'm not exactly sure whyy it bothers me, but it does, it does. *pouts*
ok i'm done here. have a wonderful week ahead all you wonderful people. i hope that doesn't sound too sarcastic cause it's not meant to be ok! ok i'm done here bye.
Monday, October 09, 2006
And so she stood there, with so much conviction in her "InsyaALLAH". And i grew impatient, knowing she might not keep the promise to see through her daughter's PSLE home revision, given her heavy schedule overseeing the tiny shop selling basic necessities, beyond her primary duty of taking care of her two young school-going girls. All on her own, nonetheless. With health depleting and surviving on the kindness of others, she's a picture of simplicity and neglect in a fast, materialistic and self-absorbed world.
Yet,twinge of guilt hit upon reflection that that word was uttered in such deep and pure conviction...It may not be sufficient through my eyes, but she might be giving her all in teaching her kids. Who am I to judge dammit. I'm just the measely tuition teacher. Through her simple ways, she's taught me more that I could ever teach her kids math, science or english. Purity of the heart is not a simple thing to obtain in a materialistic world. Let's not neglect the inner spirit for the outer, not ignore our surrounding circumstances either.
last 15 days of Ramadhan...
And I'm already in slacking mode.
Yet,twinge of guilt hit upon reflection that that word was uttered in such deep and pure conviction...It may not be sufficient through my eyes, but she might be giving her all in teaching her kids. Who am I to judge dammit. I'm just the measely tuition teacher. Through her simple ways, she's taught me more that I could ever teach her kids math, science or english. Purity of the heart is not a simple thing to obtain in a materialistic world. Let's not neglect the inner spirit for the outer, not ignore our surrounding circumstances either.
last 15 days of Ramadhan...
And I'm already in slacking mode.
Friday, September 29, 2006
I'm in love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZVn_9gSORE
*sighs*
okay lah, ken doesn't seem that frumpy over Hady's win when you watch the vid again ;) Yay Hady go and memperjuangkan apa2 yang kau perlu! =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZVn_9gSORE
*sighs*
okay lah, ken doesn't seem that frumpy over Hady's win when you watch the vid again ;) Yay Hady go and memperjuangkan apa2 yang kau perlu! =)
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Of the final 2
And so hady wins...but I couldn't help noticing how Gurmit said the winner's name in a flat minced tone, and the judges' faces were all rather disappointing to watch. They weren't exactly off their seats raring to congratulate the winner. And so I started to wonder all along if they'd actually been thinking of the prospects if Jon had won...I mean, okay, pros:
1. The guy has marketability appeal for all kinds of products from nin jiao pa kao (the cough syrup that everyone buys) to lifestyle products (clothing apparell, supersonic shavers, hairstyle, new age cutting trends-tatoos anyone?!) to non-halal food outlets. Hey, maybe NUS FASS can even use him as an icon for a new ad they're preparing. Local brands would hunker after him to help in marketing their products. Does anyone wonder how come taufik only seems to be advertising for 7-11 BIG GULP? I mean, come on, with enough marketing effort he'd have enough soft power to bring in the kaching for several local brands. Maybe after the revamping of his first video from a club setting to a totally monotonous one in the middle of a huge padang, maybe advertisers started to deem his image rather conservative and traditionalistic and started to move away from the idea of using him. If Hady's not strong enough to potray his individuality and versatility while still being aware of his religious values, then the same problem would consume him. Jon, however, would be easier to market as he's more mainstream-values, ideals, lifestyle, etc. And the added fact that he speaks well just highlights the fact that he doesn't have to be groomed to be a good ambassador for X or Y or Z.
2. Jon's the better spokesman and that's pretty obvious. He'd be able to hold on his own in bringing a whole new way of looking at the entertainment industry. I mean, to compare SI to another reality TV show aired on Suria, when Anugerah Skrin was featured too, they weren't just looking at youngsters who can act and compere well but individuals who can bring malay entertainment to a new level while having the support of the young crowd. One can imagine Jon being in the frontline of so many new campaigns related to music as a healthy medium to expressing oneself among youths.
Furthermore, the guy's an undergrad. Who's to rebut now that the education system is stifling anyone from reaching your dreams of becoming an entertainer? Jon's a prime example of one who can have your cake (dabble in your real interest) and eat it too (do it well). If you're really set on breaking it out in a new industry and willing to make the right sacrifices that is.
3. Obviously he'd do well in the Chinese music market with his smouldering good looks and rocker vocals. heh.
At the very least, Mendaki could use Hady for the new revamped "Katakan tidak kepada seks lebih sexy" campaign on in full force after the fasting month (the break in timing is what I find most ironic, the top-down approach to something too personal to many comes pretty close).
Anyway, Jon has done much to potray himself since he's come this far in the competition, and besides, this IS a singing competition after all. So after much contemplation, I finally chipped in my $1.20 worth for Hady. hee. Figured its not the no of votes that counts, its the ratio. And considering most people who vote for Hady don't see it as a mere vote but a way to express their power to change something which is finally within their capacity, there'd be plenty of voting happening that side anyways.
All said, Hady's the better raw vocalist, but Jon can emote the songs better.
And so hady wins...but I couldn't help noticing how Gurmit said the winner's name in a flat minced tone, and the judges' faces were all rather disappointing to watch. They weren't exactly off their seats raring to congratulate the winner. And so I started to wonder all along if they'd actually been thinking of the prospects if Jon had won...I mean, okay, pros:
1. The guy has marketability appeal for all kinds of products from nin jiao pa kao (the cough syrup that everyone buys) to lifestyle products (clothing apparell, supersonic shavers, hairstyle, new age cutting trends-tatoos anyone?!) to non-halal food outlets. Hey, maybe NUS FASS can even use him as an icon for a new ad they're preparing. Local brands would hunker after him to help in marketing their products. Does anyone wonder how come taufik only seems to be advertising for 7-11 BIG GULP? I mean, come on, with enough marketing effort he'd have enough soft power to bring in the kaching for several local brands. Maybe after the revamping of his first video from a club setting to a totally monotonous one in the middle of a huge padang, maybe advertisers started to deem his image rather conservative and traditionalistic and started to move away from the idea of using him. If Hady's not strong enough to potray his individuality and versatility while still being aware of his religious values, then the same problem would consume him. Jon, however, would be easier to market as he's more mainstream-values, ideals, lifestyle, etc. And the added fact that he speaks well just highlights the fact that he doesn't have to be groomed to be a good ambassador for X or Y or Z.
2. Jon's the better spokesman and that's pretty obvious. He'd be able to hold on his own in bringing a whole new way of looking at the entertainment industry. I mean, to compare SI to another reality TV show aired on Suria, when Anugerah Skrin was featured too, they weren't just looking at youngsters who can act and compere well but individuals who can bring malay entertainment to a new level while having the support of the young crowd. One can imagine Jon being in the frontline of so many new campaigns related to music as a healthy medium to expressing oneself among youths.
Furthermore, the guy's an undergrad. Who's to rebut now that the education system is stifling anyone from reaching your dreams of becoming an entertainer? Jon's a prime example of one who can have your cake (dabble in your real interest) and eat it too (do it well). If you're really set on breaking it out in a new industry and willing to make the right sacrifices that is.
3. Obviously he'd do well in the Chinese music market with his smouldering good looks and rocker vocals. heh.
At the very least, Mendaki could use Hady for the new revamped "Katakan tidak kepada seks lebih sexy" campaign on in full force after the fasting month (the break in timing is what I find most ironic, the top-down approach to something too personal to many comes pretty close).
Anyway, Jon has done much to potray himself since he's come this far in the competition, and besides, this IS a singing competition after all. So after much contemplation, I finally chipped in my $1.20 worth for Hady. hee. Figured its not the no of votes that counts, its the ratio. And considering most people who vote for Hady don't see it as a mere vote but a way to express their power to change something which is finally within their capacity, there'd be plenty of voting happening that side anyways.
All said, Hady's the better raw vocalist, but Jon can emote the songs better.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Hmmm...
..."The quality of relationships matters as well. Feelings of loneliness may be as damaging as actual physical isolation, says John Cacioppo, a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago and an expert on how loneliness affects health. In a study of 135 healthy students at Ohio State University, Cacioppo found that those who perceived themselves as lonely had higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that causes the body to store fat in the abdomen, a risk factor for heart disease.
Establishing new relationships can help, but may be problematic for isolated individuals. Cacioppo warns that lonely people could hamper their own best efforts because they see the world as more threatening and less rewarding than socially embedded people do. "Lonely people want to be affiliated with others, but they expect [negative responses] and engage in self-protective behaviors that are self-defeating," Cacioppo says. Experts recommend joining anything from a book club to Toastmasters. "Research has shown that just being a member of a local club or an organization has health-protective effects," says Taylor...."
News derived from: http://health.msn.com/womenshealth/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100108101
This is way cool too. I wonder where Singaporeans fit in the range.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14786805/wid/11915773>1=8506
..."The quality of relationships matters as well. Feelings of loneliness may be as damaging as actual physical isolation, says John Cacioppo, a professor of psychology at the University of Chicago and an expert on how loneliness affects health. In a study of 135 healthy students at Ohio State University, Cacioppo found that those who perceived themselves as lonely had higher levels of cortisol, a stress hormone that causes the body to store fat in the abdomen, a risk factor for heart disease.
Establishing new relationships can help, but may be problematic for isolated individuals. Cacioppo warns that lonely people could hamper their own best efforts because they see the world as more threatening and less rewarding than socially embedded people do. "Lonely people want to be affiliated with others, but they expect [negative responses] and engage in self-protective behaviors that are self-defeating," Cacioppo says. Experts recommend joining anything from a book club to Toastmasters. "Research has shown that just being a member of a local club or an organization has health-protective effects," says Taylor...."
News derived from: http://health.msn.com/womenshealth/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100108101
This is way cool too. I wonder where Singaporeans fit in the range.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/14786805/wid/11915773>1=8506
Thursday, September 14, 2006
All the small things
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
You may not realize it, but it's true.
At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
If not for you, someone would not have the means to live a better life.
You are special and unique.
When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if youtrust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look; you most likely turned your back on the world.
Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
You may not realize it, but it's true.
At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
If not for you, someone would not have the means to live a better life.
You are special and unique.
When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if youtrust God to do what's best, and wait on His time, sooner or later, you will get it or something better.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good can still come from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look; you most likely turned your back on the world.
Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know and you'll both be happy.
If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
yesterday was so funn...i'm glad elly managed to convince me to come otherwise i'd be stuck at home bumming over piles of homework. haha.
funnay moments:
Elly and Mars were grating the cheese over the shepherd's pie. Elly, as she self-proclaims (haha) was the supervisor/director-general/commander of the whole kitchen ordeal. Well, it was her kitchen anyway. SO she was overseeing mars' job in grating the cheese.
Elly *getting impatient*: more! More! MORE!MOREMOREMOREMORE! (Juming faster and faster herself as she got into the mood of things)
Mars: well actually she didn't say anything, but she immediately grated the cheese to elly's increasing beat to sucha furious pace the cheese went flying all over the kitchen stove...
Yani and me who were cutting the fruits (and eating every third piece we cut) across the counter got a short spray of the cheese as well..
(haha. ok la exaggerate a bit)
It SO FUNNYYY!!
And then there was Sya and Mars' "render me useful" moment...
Sya: I feel so useless... Could I get something to do?
Mars: Yea man gimme some meaning in my life!
Elly: Ok, you guys can help set the table and get the jug in the cupboard above over there. (points to a high cupboard)
*Sya and Mars look at each other*
Sya: ALAH... why do I have to be the taller one...
HAHA!
oh and another funnay incident earlier during the day...
Shireen (walking out of canteen while checking out this mixed looking Indian guy): Look, that guy's pretty cute! Lets ESSENTIALISE him! (haha. like who in the world says that!! essentialise basically is a term you use to stereotype people to their most basic characteristics. like for example, for me it'll be like..."oh, Aisyah's just a bloody malay girl who wears a tudung" (quoted as an example from Shireen) ... huuhuu...of course everyone is SO much more complicated than THAT!!
oh wells. good day anyways.
hukhukhukhuk :)
funnay moments:
Elly and Mars were grating the cheese over the shepherd's pie. Elly, as she self-proclaims (haha) was the supervisor/director-general/commander of the whole kitchen ordeal. Well, it was her kitchen anyway. SO she was overseeing mars' job in grating the cheese.
Elly *getting impatient*: more! More! MORE!MOREMOREMOREMORE! (Juming faster and faster herself as she got into the mood of things)
Mars: well actually she didn't say anything, but she immediately grated the cheese to elly's increasing beat to sucha furious pace the cheese went flying all over the kitchen stove...
Yani and me who were cutting the fruits (and eating every third piece we cut) across the counter got a short spray of the cheese as well..
(haha. ok la exaggerate a bit)
It SO FUNNYYY!!
And then there was Sya and Mars' "render me useful" moment...
Sya: I feel so useless... Could I get something to do?
Mars: Yea man gimme some meaning in my life!
Elly: Ok, you guys can help set the table and get the jug in the cupboard above over there. (points to a high cupboard)
*Sya and Mars look at each other*
Sya: ALAH... why do I have to be the taller one...
HAHA!
oh and another funnay incident earlier during the day...
Shireen (walking out of canteen while checking out this mixed looking Indian guy): Look, that guy's pretty cute! Lets ESSENTIALISE him! (haha. like who in the world says that!! essentialise basically is a term you use to stereotype people to their most basic characteristics. like for example, for me it'll be like..."oh, Aisyah's just a bloody malay girl who wears a tudung" (quoted as an example from Shireen) ... huuhuu...of course everyone is SO much more complicated than THAT!!
oh wells. good day anyways.
hukhukhukhuk :)
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